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Post by xtimetodancex on Jan 2, 2010 23:57:02 GMT -5
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It's been a long year without you,
and I can't seem to go one day without thinking about you,
It's not that I doubt you,
If I found you, would I put my arms around you?
Wish I could let you know how much I miss you,
Entertain the pain, if I could, I would kiss you,
I wanna be with you,
I've tried letting go,
I don't know how to quit you...
---
Another lonely, miserable day.
The only kind of day that seventeen year-old Alexander McNaughton ever seemed to have anymore. Another bloody day of wandering around whatever godforsaken place he managed to find himself in, another day of hiding in fear, praying to God he wouldn't be found. Every passing second of anonymity was a blessing, every corner that he turned that didn't have the twisted, drunken, cold face of his father lurking behind it.
Granted, as time was going by, Alex was slowly growing more comfortable in his surroundings, gaining confidence with each passing day.
But there was still that bitter loneliness...the empty hole in his chest that refused to heal, no matter how hard he urged it on.
Face it, he thought to himself, for the hundredth time in the last week. She's gone, Alex. You're never going to see her again. As much as it fucking sucks, it's the truth. Grow up and face it. But how could he? How could he possibly ever stop thinking about his best friend, the one person he felt truly safe with? It was next to impossible, especially for one as needy as Alex had become. Now, he just did whatever he could to distract himself, to keep his mind off his favourite person in the world...
Coming to the park today, losing himself in the vast acres of the property, was one of those very distractions. He hadn't visited the park yet, since the last six or seven days had been filled with packing boxes, driving across countries, and unpacking boxes again...but now he finally found the time to surround himself in the tranquil green of the gardens, with splashes of pinks, yellows, and whites dotting the route along the path through the trees. Still nervous at being found out, he unconsciously ducked his head, shrugging further into his jacket and shuffling along at a comfortable walk.
---
No, baby, you can't change me,
But maybe you'll find that you're
Better off, better off,
That's what you get for, that's what you get for,
Moving on, moving on,
Try and forget you, try and forget like
Every tear you ever cried,
Pack them up and say goodbye,
Moving on, and that's what you get for...
---
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Post by hadley on Jan 3, 2010 1:04:27 GMT -5
Carter hated it here, almost as much as she hated the last place but this was a different hate. She basically loathed this place. Everything had changed since that day. The day she remembered all too well in her head. She hadn't expected it and ever since she lived in a world of her own. Never opening up to anyone new, although that was something she was use to. She hadn't opened up to anyone like she had opened up to him and look where that got her. She couldn't even speak his name without wanting to burst into tears. No doubt getting her stares from strangers who she basically just flipped off and went on about her day.
She couldn't forget that day no matter how hard she tried. It was so clear in her mind. Like it was yesterday. Only it wasn't.
Carter had gotten up early to go see the one and only person who could make the bad dreams about her parents go away. The one and only person that she could count on and that had been there for her through it all. Only when she'd arrived at his dorm, he was no longer there. All of his stuff had vanished as well. Nobody she'd asked knew where he was. It as as if he just disappeared.
Shaking her head, Carter couldn't bring herself to finish. She couldn't think about it. It wasn't something she could deal with right now.
In all her focus on that day, or trying to forget that day, she ran into someone. A guy. Though she didn't pay a whole lot of attention to him. She sighed when she fell on her butt from the impact. "Sorry.." She sighed as she climbed to her feet again and went to walk around whoever it was. She had no idea that it was Alex. Her Alex. |
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Post by xtimetodancex on Jan 3, 2010 1:38:53 GMT -5
Alex was so unnaturally wrapped up in his own misery, his own loneliness, that he completely failed to realize that he was headed straight-on for another human being. Even if he had been thinking straight, he had his head tucked too far down to see much ahead of him. By the time he had registered that there were shoe toes entering his vision, the other - a girl, he figured - was flat on her back, more then likely as baffled as embarassed as he was.
Grumbling with his face rapidly going from white to pink, he stepped back. "I'm so sorr-" His words stopped dead.
For when he dared to raise his eyes, his entire world stopped spinning. He breathing ground to a halt, his heart spluttering weakly. There, in front of his eyes, was his girl. Not just any old teenager, but his girl. His beautiful, tiny, adorable, pale, flustered, sensitive, generous, caring, selfless girl.
His Carter.
By now, only seconds had passed, but it was enough for her to mutter an apology, dust herself up, and keep walking.
The pain of every vital organ in his body grinding to a sudden halt disappeared, and he spun around, gaining his breath and something of his voice back. "Carter..." he breathed, spinning around, his lips barely moving. He had spoken only just above a whisper, but even the mere mention, the thought of her name sent shooting bullets through his chest, scraping at the hollow bones that had been so devoid of flesh when he had been forced to leave her as he did...
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Post by hadley on Jan 3, 2010 1:52:12 GMT -5
Carter hadn't thought to look at the person she had ran into. It wasn't likely that it would be anyone that she knew nor cared about so she didn't even bother. She had only gotten within a few feet when she heard her name. More of her focus went to the voice that her name came from. It couldn't be him. She was dreaming. Hallucinating maybe. Something. It could be her Alex. Could it? It took Carter too long to turn around to look. She wanted to but the thought that she had only been hearing things erupted in her thoughts and she couldn't help but hesitate a little.
Turning her attention to the guy that had called her name she was shocked to find that it actually was Alex. This wasn't possible. Carter's only thought was touching him. It would be the only way that she would know that he was really there only a few feet in front of her.
Closing the distance between the two of them, she lifted her hand to touch his face. She still hadn't said a word yet. She didn't know if she could trust her voice enough to speak just yet. When her hand connected with his cheek, she smiled just slightly. It was really him. it was too unbelievable. She didn't think she would ever see him again.
The only other thing occurring in her mind was the fact that he might leave again, or that he wasn't here for good and that he would be leaving soon. "Alex.. is it really you?" Despite the fact that she could see him and touch him.. she still had to ask that question.
Carter had wanted to be mad at him for so long for what he had done but now that he was face to face with her, she couldn't bring herself to be mad at him. She was just glad that he was okay. All in one piece and here with her again. Nothing else mattered to her now. |
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Post by xtimetodancex on Jan 9, 2010 15:25:00 GMT -5
He didn't realize that he was trembling from head to toe - with a mix of anticipation and pain - until she was there, only mere inches away, her palm rising to rest gently on his cheek. At that single touch, a violent shudder flashed up and down his spine, his breath leaving in a whoosh. Later, he would swear that in that instant, his heart stopped beating.
For what could've been seconds, minutes, hours, he was completely still, his body and mind in too much shock to do anything but freeze.
Just as suddenly as it had come on, he broke through his trance, and without consciously telling his brain to do so, he embraced her, crushing her to him as hard as he dared. His face was buried in her hair, barely muffling the tearless sobs that wracked his body.
"Carter...oh god, Carter..." he whispered, his voice weak and cracked. After so many months of telling himself that it was done, it was over, he was never going to see her again, he hated himself for letting him hope that this was real. But he should've known that even the hallucination, even the idea of fighting for being next to her again, would've been a lost cause. There was nothing he had desired more over the last agonizing months then holding her again, feeling how warm and delicate she was next to him...and now she was here, just as perfect as he remembered, a light in the gloom of his world...
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Post by hadley on Jan 9, 2010 15:54:50 GMT -5
When Alex embraced her, Carter was still fighting with the emotions running around inside her body, her soul and her mind. Carter couldn't begin to explain the feelings. It was anger, love, happiness and so many others that Carter didn't know what to do with. She'd always wondered what it would be like to see him again. She'd thought about it often but she also knew that it was a big possibility that she'd never see him again. Little by little she'd forget about him altogether, as much as Carter hated that thought, she knew it would have happened one day.
At this time, Carter was just focusing on breathing. One, it was getting herder to the tighter he held her and two, she was surprised she was remembering to breath anyways. She was utterly shocked to see him here now.
"Alex.." she finally muttered, "you're squeezing me too tight." Carter didn't want him to let her go but she knew that eventually, he would. Taking in a deep breath, she took in his familiar scent. The smell that she'd thought she'd forgotten. Wrapping the one arm around his neck that wasn't squeezed between the two, she let her hand rest in his hair, letting her fingers play with it.
As many times as she had fought herself, saying this would never happen again, she'd never see him again, here she was, with him now. She loved it and she was all too happy to have the feeling back. The feeling that she'd never thought she'd experience ever again. |
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